Picking, pulling and biting at our hair, skin or nails are normal primate grooming behaviours, but some individuals become stuck in a vicious cycle of over-grooming to the extent that they experience significant physical and psychological distress. Problematic BFRBs are common (approx 5% of the population), but are highly stigmatised, and often overlooked, dismissed or misattributed to conscious choice or psychopathology, rather than being understood as complex biopsychosocial phenomena. In this talk I will deconstruct the stigma surrounding BFRBs, and explore the predisposition, irges, actions and consequences, drawing on insights from comparative and clinical psychology, neuroscience, dermatology and social anthropology. I will describe our initial studies on the experience of BFRBs in adolescence, which is the peak onset for these behaviours, and a time when the experience of intense shame can set up a lifetime of knock-on-problems. I will also include some observations on the experience, challenges and opportunities of becoming a #livedexperiencescientist.